Hold your horses

KICK BALL STEP, ¼ TURN, SKATER STEP FOUR TIMES

1&2Kick right to right side, step right in place, step left forward

3-4Step right forward, ¼ turn left as you step left

5-6Skate right, skate left (traveling forward)

7-8Skate right, skate left (traveling forward)

STEP TOUCH, STEP TOUCH, TROT STEP BACKWARDS

1-2Step right to right side, touch left toe behind right

Raise your hands high and stretch you body nice and tall during count 1. Drop your hands to your side and click your fingers while bringing your body back down on count 2. The lower you get, the farther you can cross that foot behind.

3-4Step left to left side, touch right toe behind left

Raise your hands high and stretch you body nice and tall during count 3. Drop your hands to your side and click your fingers while bringing your body back down on count 4. The lower you get, the farther you can cross that foot behind.

&5&6Gallop back right, left, right, left (feet shoulder width apart)

&7&8Repeat counts &5&6

Counts &5&6&7&8 are the 'Spank The Horsey' part. As you gallop backwards, get up on the balls of your feet and make your legs as bowlegged as possible. Roll those hips as you move backward. Place your left fist forward, knuckles up, as if holding the reins of your horse. On each count, slap the air below your left arm with your right hand, as if slapping the side of your horse. Slapping your horse makes it gallop backwards?

GRAPEVINE RIGHT, GRAPEVINE LEFT

1Step right to right side (right arm across chest, forearm parallel to floor, as palm of left hand pushes right fist to the right)

2Step left behind right (left arm across chest, forearm parallel to floor, as palm of right hand pushes left fist to the left)

3Step right to right side (both hands touch shoulders and snap your fingers)

4Touch left next to right (bring both arms straight down and snap your fingers)

5Step left to left side (left arm across chest, forearm parallel to floor, as palm of right hand pushes left fist to the left)

6Step right behind left (right arm across chest, forearm parallel to floor, as palm of left hand pushes right fist to the right)

7Step left to left side (both hands touch shoulders and snap your fingers)

8Touch right next to left (bring both arms straight down and snap your fingers)

KNEE KNOCKS

1-4With feet together knock knees in and out starting with knees knocking in (lean body to the right as you stretch your left arm forward and circle from the center to the left side)

5-8Repeat steps for 1-4 (lean body to the left as you stretch your right arm forward and circle from the center to the right side)

STEP, KICK, CROSS, BACK, POINT, AND HEEL, AND TOUCH TURN

1-2Step forward on left, kick right down towards floor

3-4Cross right over left, step back on left

5&6Point right to right side, step right next to left, left heel forward

&7-8Step left next to right, touch right toe back, turn ½ to the right and transfer weight to right foot

STEP SCUFF, STEP, STOMP, SWIVEL AND SWIVEL, STEP BACK, TOGETHER

1-2Step forward on left, scuff right forward

3-4Step down on right foot, stomp left foot in front of right

&5&6Swivel heels to the left, center, left, center

7-8Step back on left, step right next to left

ALL THOSE STEPS AGAIN

1-16Repeat those last 16 counts, except end with a touch instead of a step so your right foot is free to start the dance again.

REPEAT

TAG
Start the dance 32 counts after the drum kicks in. Then do the tag at the end of walls 2 and 4
GRAPEVINE RIGHT, GRAPEVINE LEFT WITH ¼ TURN
1-2Step right to right side, step left behind right

3-4Step right to right side, touch left next to right

5-6Step left to left side, step right behind left

7-8Step left to left side with ¼ turn left, touch right next to left

PADDLE TURN

&1Make ¼ left, point the right toe to the right side

&2Turn ¼ left, point the right toe to the right side

&3Turn ¼ left, point the right toe to the right side

4Step right next to left

Some folks leave out the ¼ turn in the second grapevine and add it back in here on count 4. Realistically, it doesn’t matter even a tiny bit where you put it.

&5Turn ¼ right, point the left toe to the left side

&6Turn ¼ right, point the left toe to the left side

&7Turn ¼ right, point the left toe to the left side

8Turn ¼ right and step the left foot forward

During the entire tag, you are rolling your fists around each other in front of your body. You could roll forward on the vine right, and backward on the vine left. You can roll them one revolution per count, or for a more exciting look, try two revolutions per count.

You can also try to turn all of those ¼ paddle turns into ½ turns so that you do two full turns to the left and then two full turns to the right.

Rolling your arms while turning your body tests the laws of physics so it may not be as easy as it sounds. And rolling at double speed while spinning at double speed is downright frightening!

STARTING WALL
According to the Fédération d’Association de Kinetic Exactitude (F.A.K.E.), the official starting direction for this dance is 35 degrees East of Magnetic North. However, the committee has agreed that, under certain conditions, it is acceptable to begin the dance facing the 3:00 wall (¼ turn to the right of your normal starting wall). The ¼ turn on count 4 then brings you to the front wall. It is also acceptable to begin the dance facing the 12:00 wall (a.k.a. the 'Front' wall), though doing so on a dance floor where everyone else is starting elsewhere could lead to laughter, so that is highly contra-indicated.
Truthfully, you will find that some dancers start at 12:00, and some start at 3:00. Somewhere, probably, there is someone starting 35 degrees East of Magnetic North. As long as the dancers can agree on a common start direction during the lengthy intro to the song, nobody really cares at all which way this dance begins. It’s a FOUR WALL dance. It faces ALL DIRECTIONS!
If you are having trouble coming to an agreement with your neighboring dancers during the intro, please return to your chair, collect your belongings, access the egress, employ cartage to your abode, consume a Valium, apply a cool compress to your ocular region, and assume a horizontal position in a darkened sanctum. Your angst level is WAAAY too high.